On The Vine
Hoping to Bear FruitArchive for Spritual Abuse
Elders: You may not be abusive, but are you guilty of neglect?
Over the last several months, for variety of reasons in my own life and the lives of those around me, the issue of elders in the church has become a topic heavy on my heart and mind.
I had a vague idea of what I thought a biblical elder should be, then I began hearing conversation about the position of an elder. A few issues came up, such as, What are the responsibilities of the elders? What authority do the elders have? Why it is dangerous to confront an elder or pastor?
I began to wonder if I really understood the job description of an elder. I needed to stop all the noise, even if it was from people I respected, and find out what does God have to say about all this.
I started my research at CARM (Christian Apologetics Research Ministry). Only because I knew the leg work of locating scripture would be done for me. Sure enough I found thorough research on the elders in the church, their job description,even an outline of responsiblities and qualifications.
There was so much good information I didn’t know where to begin reading. I was pretty familiar with the qualifications, (although I did learn that the word elder is masculine, making a point for the side of no women elders). I was primarily interested in the responsiblities of the elders and pearing down what that looked like, not just what I had seen modeled.
I chose 1 Pet 5:1-3 as a catalyst to defining the role of the elder.
The elders who are among you I exhort, I who am a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, and also a partaker of the glory that will be revealed: Shepherd the flock of God which is among you, serving as overseers, not by compulsion but willingly,not for dishonest gain but eagerly; nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock;
Key words in the job description in this verse are Shepard and overseer.
Well, we know what a shepard does, it feeds the sheep, keeps them safe, and keeps the wolves out.
But I wanted to examine ‘overseer’.
I went to the Greek definitions for overseer. I looked not only at the initial definition given, but continued to the root word, and found that the word for overseer was born from a word meaning WATCHMAN.
Wow! Have a got a good analogy for this one!
So go with me for a moment to a camp in a deserted area. A group of men, women and children, have set up housekeeping in this vast wilderness, and they choose watchman, who will rotate standing guard.
This Watchman will be looking for anything that may threaten the security of the camp. He is guarding so that when a potential threat arises, he can take precautions to prevent entry into the camp. Should he be unable to prevent an attack on the camp, his job would be to sound the alarm, so that all those within the camp are now aware of the pending attack, and can take precautions or flee.
What this watchman would not do, is greet the attacker, ask what his plans are, then well aware of the threat to the camp, say “Have at it, but I can’t stand by and watch I’m out of here.” and then silently walk away.
I think it is important to note that if an attacker approaches, and the watchman is doing his job, he is going to be the first one fighting for his life.
He wasn’t hired to abandon his post at the first sign of a threat. He was hired to keep watch, alert everyone of potential threat, and do everything in his power to prevent the attack, even if it meant loosing his own life.
The Watchman’s job is first to ward off any potential threat, and second,if unable to prevent it, to alert the entire camp of the threat.
So now we have an elder, who is to give food to, provide shelter for, and be a watchman of, the flock.
I came to this topic full of emotions because I felt our church had been abandoned by the elders, and because I was aware of another local church where there is a cycle of elders leaving their positions and yet the congregation remains helplessly unaware of what their Pastor is doing.
After seeking the Lord, studying the Word, and concurring with my husband, I still wanted confirmation that my concept of a biblical elder was not off base. I couldn’t believe that I could be right, and that these men, who were suppose to be fulfilling these positions were dropping the ball. These are Godly men, whom my husband and I respect, and yet they have left us fending for ourselves, unwilling to even talk about why privately, let alone sound an alarm publically.
Well that confirmation came, very quickly.
We met with a newly appointed elder of our church, and we were careful to ask him questions without leading him to the answeres we wanted to hear.
What we heard was a resounding “I will be your WATCHMAN”
False teaching and spiritual abuse are running rampid and elders are walking away.
Where is the alarm? Where is the warning, Watchman?
You may dismiss my whole argument right now, saying that the threat is coming from inside the camp and so the rules are different. Consider that a wolf in sheeps clothing may not be recognized immediatly upon entry to the flock, but when his identity is revealed it is still the job of the shepard to save the sheep!
Being an elder is a highcalling, and if a man believes he was called to this position by God, not just chosen by a pastor seeking “YES MEN”, then he ought to be willing to follow through on the responsibilities God called him to fulfill.
If these Pastors I refer to are quilty of spiritual abuse, the elders walking away from them, and allowing them to continue, are at the very least quilty of spiritual neglect.
Spritiual Authority: Coming To Conclusions
I am first under the authority of God.
I am then, by His Word, under the authority of my husband.
I am to obey the government put in place above me, because that authority is given by God.
I am not to submit to any authority that contradicts God.
I don’t find a place in the word, that tells me to ’submit’, ‘to be under the authority of” or to have the ‘covering’ of my local church.
The Word does tell me to not forsake fellowship, to gather together, to hear the Word, to exhort one another. But none of that gives anyone in that fellowship any authority over my life, or over my spiritual life.
When God gives authority to a husband, He is saying that husband is ultimately accountable for his wife, the good, the bad and the ugly.
When Christ took on responsibility for the Church, He took all our sins upon Him and was beaten to a pulp and crucified for them.
Does a pastor really want to take on that kind of responsibility for their congregation?
They shouldn’t want to, and they shouldn’t redefine authority and resonsibility to take what they want, and to gain the submission of their congregation.
Likewise, the congregats giving over ’spritual authority’ or seeking a ‘covering’ just want to avoid taking ultimate responsiblity for themselves.
It would be great to stand before the pearly gates one day, ready to enter eternity, next to a brother I was so fond of here on earth, and when asked to give an answer for my words and actions and the condition of my heart, to simply point to the brother next to me and say “I was under his authority, I had his covering’
But that ain’t gonna fly at the pearly gates.
This idea of a ‘covering’ or ’spiritual authority’ seems to be a bad, suttle undercurrent. And pastors or congregats wading in these waters should get out.
Spiritual Authority, The Search Continues…
I am challenged by a response to previous posts about spiritual authority that says the idea of ’spiritual authority’ or a ‘covering’ is heresy.
Now I haven’t investigated all that in the Word yet, but I am working through a few scenarios that make our current few of ‘authority’ of the local church over their congregats flawed.
Go with me on my tangent.
I am in a women’s group that meets bi-monthly to discuss the Word.
So let’s say I am a false teacher, sitting in the women’s group, teaching a false doctrine. For fun let’s pick something no one would actually believe…
How about ‘Elmo is a modern day apostle’
So after I have begun proclaiming this false teaching in the group, the hostess recognizes the problem and in accordance with Matt. 18 she confronts me privately, sharing her concern about my Elmo teaching.
I tell her I appreciate her interest, but I am right and she is wrong.
She then brings a witness or two with her from the group who share their concern about my Elmo teaching.
I tell them, I appreciate your concern, but I’m right, and will continue to speak freely about Elmo.
The hostess and witnesses then decide to go to my local church, and tell my pastor, who is in ‘authority’ over me, that I am presenting a false teaching about Elmo.
So my pastor comes to me and I say thanks for asking, but your wrong, and Elmo is who I say he is.
Now what?
The problem clearly is that while I attend the local church, and fellowship there, and am taught there, I have no relationship with this pastor, who is also pastor to 500 other people, so this man who looks like a modern day spiritual authority in my life, because I am supposedly submitted to my local body, actually has no authority in my life.
So now what, that authority figure, actually has no authority, and I can freely continue my teaching about Elmo.
The ‘church’ in this case perhaps should have been the women’s group, who actually hears me talking about Elmo and needs to make a judgement about whether or not my teaching is false, and perhaps cast me out of the ‘church’ if I persist in my teaching about Elmo.
I am only at the tip of the iceberg in discovery and study about this spiritual authority issue. But I am intrigued by the idea that someone says it is heresy from the shepard’s movement. And I can already see how this ‘authority/covering’ doctrine is overused and abused in my local churches.
Why are our leaders asserting the idea that they are our ’spiritual leaders’?
The bible tells me my husband is my leader.
Why are we members looking for a ’spiritual leader’?
1) We have one, his name is JESUS,
2) it is easier to sit back and let someone else ‘cover’ whatever you are doing, hearing, being taught, than to take time to investigate it all yourself, taking every morsel to the Lord, and not owning it until you have an answer from the Lord Himself.
Like I said, tip of the ice berg, but I am sensing a melt down!
Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Abuse: A Few More Thoughts
A few weeks back, I was considering how we as believers ar suppose to put ourselves under authority, and yet in doing so we must be so cautious not to put ourselves in a position to be spiritually abused.
At that time, in my mind, the abuser would be the leader of a congregation, and the victim, a member of that congregation.
But today I find myself considering another outlet for spiritual abuse, that seems perhaps even more difficult to identify, prove, and confront.
What if the abuser is someone who has not put themselves under any authority? This person is a believer, appears to be walking in truth, is talking the talk, they just aren’t committed to a particular church.
This person is under the authority of Christ, connected and operating in the body of Christ in various groups, just not at a Sunday morning fellowship.
This person appears to be mature in relationship with the Lord, and so a younger believer can be easily ’star struck’ by the mature believers procalamtions of the ‘the Lord is doing this’ and the ‘the Lord is saying this’ and ‘I am discerning this’. Even the memory of scripture, that can be shared in our out of context to make a point woos the young believer into the good graces of the mature believer.
This is not a bad thing, if the mature believer is truly submitted to the Holy Spirit’s control, and not on their own agenda. But if the mature believer is out to make a name for themselves, find a place for themselves, find a following for themselves, this can become a dangerous, potentially abusive situation for the young believer.
So the questions are:
Why isn’t the mature believer under any authority?
How do you test the fruit of their ‘gifts’ when they are not connected to a body of believers?
Who do you confront after steps one and two of Matthew 18?
When is it appropriate to warn younger believers?
When does it cross the line from advice to abuse?
Spiritual Authority or Spritual Abuse?
Spritual Abuse, much like any other form of abuse I suppose.
The abuser probably didn’t start off with an agenda to become an abuser. Perhaps pride got in the way, ambition, boredom. All sins of the heart none the less, that not confessed and submitted to the reign of the Lord, take the abuser further than one wanted to go, keep them longer than they wanted to stay, and will eventually (Lord willing) cost them more than they wanted to pay.
The victim, innocent from beginning to end. We are suppose to be a part of the body of Christ, suppose to gather together regularly, suppose to submit ourselves to the authority put in place by God. And so we join a congregation, we find a place to fit in, to serve, to be used by the Lord. Then we find ourselves looking to our spiritual authority, the leader of our congregation most likely, to give confirmation, affirmation, opportunity.
And the cycle begins.
The abuser now has access in to the life of the victim. Free reign, in the name of the Lord, to exercise authority over that person. The abuse begins not because the abuser exercises his God given authority but because the abuser has his own agenda. Given over to his own sin, perhaps unwittingly, he is no longer truly serving the Lord, but is now serving himself.
The victim(s) look to him for teaching, counsel. In a healthy cycle, the leader, like Christ, would build up those in his charge, constatntly directing them to the Lord, and ultimately empowering them to serve and to grow, and to minister on their own. But in the cycle of abuse, the abuser uses authority to control, to breakdown, and to make dependent upon him.
The victims become confused, begin asking of themselves What did I miss?, Why can’t I hear you God?
But the tactics have been so suttle and the process so slow, it is almost impossible to pinpoint when the abuse began. And yet as sure as the sky is blue, the victim knows she is a victim. She knows because there is confusion, division, pain. All things which God did not author.
The victim, Lord willing, escapes the cycle. Free at last.
The question becomes, to tell or not to tell? We wonder why an abused child doesn’t tell. We wonder why an abused woman doesn’t tell. Spend some time as a victim (not truly recommended) and you will quickly see, the abuser is likely a reputable person, established, trusted, respected. And the victim is just one voice, who’s words are few, proof is little, and emotions are raw.
The abuser willingly, entered into the game, the victim didn’t even know she was playing until it was too late. The abuser has a strategy, his defense is built before he even begins to play. The victim was just rolling the dice, trying to be a part of what God is doing.
And yet if the victims can’t find a way to speak up, the cycle continues.
Could I stand by and let that happen in the case of child abuse? Ofcourse not, that would be preposterous.
But confront a spirtual abuser…

