Tag Archive: marraige


This is too funny not to share…

  

Man Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­ 
           At LAST a guy has taken the time to write this down

Finally , the guys’ side of the story.
(
I must admit, it’s pretty good.)
We always hear ‘
the rules ‘ From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered ‘1 ‘
ON PURPOSE

1.Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1.. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem < B>only if you want help solving it..

  1. 1. That’s what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days..

    1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
    Don’t ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the   other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something
    Or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself..

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A
    color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
    We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing,’ We will act like nothing’s wrong..
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..

    1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really .

    1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape.   Round IS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this.
    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

    But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping..

 

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Apples and Wine

The following may not be Godly advice, and so I am not promoting it as a “How To” lesson on marraige.

But it is funny!  My Dear Husband read it first, and thought it was hilarious!

So here goes, if you find it offensive, I apologize, we think it is good to keep a sense of humor, even about marraige, which we take very seriously… 

 

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.  Most men don’t want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren’t as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they’re amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now Men…. Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it’s up to  women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Hand in Hand

It is so precious to me to see my

Fruit Loops,

Brother and Sister,

Walking along

Hand in Hand.

I Pause to take a lesson,

From our children

How simple it is,

And How profound the impact,

To walk Side by Side,

Hand in Hand,

Brother and Sister in Christ,

Husband and Wife in life.

Garden Wedding

I like to make observations of how Adam and Eve interacted, even though there isn’t much. 

And there is something I noticed years ago, that I come back to often, and so I am reminding myself of that idea today, while I share. 

The passage of scripture I am thinking of today is from Genesis 2: 15-22

 God took the Man and set him down in the Garden of Eden to work the ground and keep it in order.

  God commanded the Man, “You can eat from any tree in the garden, except from the Tree-of-Knowledge-of-Good-and-Evil. Don’t eat from it. The moment you eat from that tree, you’re dead.”

  God said, “It’s not good for the Man to be alone; I’ll make him a helper, a companion.” So God formed from the dirt of the ground all the animals of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the Man to see what he would name them. Whatever the Man called each living creature, that was its name. The Man named the cattle, named the birds of the air, named the wild animals; but he didn’t find a suitable companion.

 God put the Man into a deep sleep. As he slept he removed one of his ribs and replaced it with flesh. God then used the rib that he had taken from the Man to make Woman and presented her to the Man.

So a recap of the important events:

God puts Adam in the Garden

God tells Adam not to eat from the tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.

God creates women.

The First Garden Wedding ever takes place!

Uhoh, do you see what I see?

Many years ago, when I first began grappling with this idea of submitting to my husband, the Lord showed me this passage in an interesting light.

Adam was there when God layed out the garden rule, but Eve didn’t exist yet, so inorder for Eve to know the rule, Adam had to tell her. 

Inorder for Eve to obey God’s rule, she had to 1) trust that her husband was telling the truth, and 2) be willing to submit to what Adam told her God said.

 Please know that I am not building doctrine here!  I am not attempting to say the only way we can hear from God is by listening and submitting to our husband.  I am certainly not saying that we do not need and have our own relationship with the Lord, in which the Lord speaks to us. (I am going to reindorce that it is neccessary to submit to our own husband!)

I am simply saying, that in this instance, I notice that a simple reading of this text, would indicate to me, that this rule was given to Adam, and passed on by him to Eve.

In this instance, God spoke to Adam, Eve didn’t get to hear from God herself.

I am suggesting, that from the very beginning,in the very first rule spoken by God, that God gave us an example of the importance of order in our marraige, that the husband would be the authority.

Yikes!!!

You mean it wasn’t just Paul’s idea?

Ofcourse we knew it wasn’t Paul’s idea. It’s all God’s plan.

But somehow, seeing it play out in the very first marraige, in the garden of Eden, has an impact on me!